|You Poor Unfortunate Soul, this "Toon Patrol,"|
has been found to need Ursula’s Touch.
IT MUST BE REWRITTEN OR ADDED, TOO!!
So says Ursula:
the true queen of Atlantica.
The Toon Patrol are the secondary antagonists of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. They are a gang of anthropomorphic toon weasels who serve as henchmen to Judge Doom.
In the movie, the Toon Patrol are the law enforcers of Toontown, although behaving less like law enforcer and more like criminals. Judge Doom has hired them to arrest Roger Rabbit for the murder of Marvin Acme. Their vehicle is a black 1937 Dodge Humpback panel truck which serves as a paddy wagon. The vehicle is fitted with official City of Los Angeles "Toon Patrol" decals on the front doors.
Like all the other Toons in the movie, the Toon Patrol are invincible to physical body harm except from a chemical blend called "The Dip." A combination of powerful solvents, The Dip dissolves the ink and paint which comprise the toons.
In the case of the weasels, it is shown that prolonged laughter is lethal to them; while Eddie Valiant jokes around in front of them during the climax of the film, where all, except their leader Smartass, die from laughing at him. Smartass meets his demise after Valiant kicks him into the vat of The Dip.
Design of the Toon Patrol and their switchblades were inspired by The Weasels in the 1949 Disney cartoon, "The Wind in the Willows."
The Toon Patrol make an appearance in the "Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin" ride at Disneyland, where they serve as the main antagonists.
Each of the weasels has a personality which matches his name:
Smartass is the leader of the weasels and is the secondary antagonist of the film. Though sarcastic at times, he shows the most discipline and self-control. While very antagonistic, he seems to care about the other weasels, as he was the first to warn them of what happens when they can't control their laughter. He is also shown to be arrogant and bossy, as seen on the related ride where he constantly bosses the other weasels around and comes up with an evil plan to dip Roger Rabbit and take over Toontown for good. On the ride, he is also shown to be short-tempered, often heard to be hitting Stupid on the head if bothered with foolish questions.
He is the third weasel to die in the film, though not by losing control of his laughter. When he points out a mistake in the song Eddie sings to entertain the weasels with, Eddie kicks him in the crotch, sending him flying into the Dip where he dissolves and dies. He is voiced by David Lander.
Greasy is Mexican and second-in-command. He is suave and the most eager to fight. He is also shown to be perverted, as he immediately takes Judge Doom's order to search Jessica Rabbit for Marvin Acme's will as an opportunity to feel her. He is the fourth weasel to die after losing control of his laughter. He is voiced by Charles Fleischer. On the related ride however,
Psycho is the most insane of the weasel gang. He is the most mentally unstable of the group and seems to get excited at the concept of killing, as he was heard laughing gleefully when Judge Doom kills the Toon shoe. He is the last weasel to die after losing control of his laughter. While laughing, he falls into the Dip's machinery. He was dangerous even after his death, as he turned the Dip sprayer back at Roger and Jessica Rabbit along with a sly "Bye-Bye!". He is voiced by Charles Fleischer.
Wheezy is a super heavy smoker. He keeps a stash of cigarettes in his jacket and hat. When he has cigarettes in his mouth, he has a raspy voice and when he dosen't, he has a deep voice. He is the second weasel to die after losing control of his laughter and appears afraid of dying. When his soul was leaving his body, he desperately tried to pull it back in, but to no avail. He is voiced by June Foray, leading some to think that Wheezy was a female.
Stupid is the most dimwitted of the weasels. He is so stupid he is often seen hitting himself on the head with his own weapon while laughing. He is the first weasel to die after losing control of his laughter. He is voiced by Fred Newman.
- It was once rumored that Jim Varney and Jeff Bennett voiced the weasels.
- Some of the fans of the Toon Patrol believe them to be 'vigilantes' and 'misguided', believing that they were always good from the start and that their boss Judge Doom manipulated them into doing evil things. This however is not true. They were always evil and were not misguided by anything and were never vigilantes, seeing as they laughed at the suffering of others and corporated with Judge Doom to destroy Toontown.
- On the related ride, Smartass is shown to have been caught by the law before, for a wanted poster can be seen somewhere. On the poster, it is revealed that Smartass has been wanted in 13 states for 'toon-napping', 'assault with a silly weapon', 'petty larcany', 'grand larceny', and 'really grand larceny'.
- Smartass was renamed to 'Wise Guy' on the ride.